you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
