i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
