Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
