There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
