i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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