the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize