There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
