worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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