the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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