It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
