so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
