awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize