she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
