this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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