Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i jhust puked up my retainher.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
