then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
