and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
