I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
