Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
