i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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