I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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