So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
