Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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