Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize