not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
