I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
