I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Say something about gay babies.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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