i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
