he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have tasted many bathrooms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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