this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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