i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
