Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
