i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
