I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
