So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
