I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
