I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
