Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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