is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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