No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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