Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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