I feel like abortions should bother me more
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
