and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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