To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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