Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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