Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize