yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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