Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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