i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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