Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
