Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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