I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and i looked up. we had an audience...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
