You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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