Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
