i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize