Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Shame is for Republicans.
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