ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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