Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
