UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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