im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
