What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
