so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
