Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
