worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Please don't give away my fajitas
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