I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
