Kiss
Puke
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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