If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
