Soap is not a condiment
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
