We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
