I hope mine doesn't look like that
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize