So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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