he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
