guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
