If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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