Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
