Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
