mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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