Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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