Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
