I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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